I'm back in Switzerland for a little while, feeling this strong and spiritual full moon. I went on a walk towards the trees and the river to reflect on her message. I have been thinking about cycles, my own cycles, and the longer Moon and Earth cycles.

I'm back again in Geneva where I lived as a child, though my ties here feel thin now; I think my returning is coming to a close. Still, coming back here is part of a cycle, one started when I didn't decide, now reinforced and regular, like the tide.

And The Tides Will Feel It

This moon is the closest one of the year, and the tides will feel it, and I imagine the fish too, feeling pulled by the water. The sun moved into Pisces yesterday and I'm feeling pulled by the water too. The river called and I went to her, felt her banks under my feet. Cycles are reassuring, for Virgo too.

I Am Not Destined To Be Subjugated and Resentful

Last year I read an important book called Mysteries of the Dark Moon by Demetra George. I began to come to grips with the longer cycles of the Earth, understanding on a longer timeline the coming of patriarchy and the return of the Goddess, who is coming now, as naturally as the dark moon becomes full again. This understanding of what has happened on Earth in the last two thousand years, as a result of a society in which the feminine was silenced and destroyed, has the advantage of encouraging women, and men, to let go of the sense that there have been victims and perpetrators. This allows for more personal agency. I can change society because I am swept up in a broader change which is inevitable, and I am not destined to be subjugated and resentful. I can sweep up the change in my hands and carry it along, staying clear in my connection to the Earth and my intent to care for her. I spent the day in various ways enjoying this return through learning and meditation: with my mentor Jocelyn Mercado's Fearless Female Entrepreneurs broadcast, with another symposium, Wise Womb Way, organized by Naomi Love and a Full Moon Meditation with Clare Dubois of Tree Sisters. I can feel the change happening in a massive way, this turning back to feminine modes of knowing and being, indigenous wisdom and the healing sensuality of the natural world whose erotic resonance we are a part of.

I Am So Done

My personal work with the full moon today follows similar motivations: the desire to release my own personal story of victimization. Chiron just left Pisces and Uranus just left Aries after their respective eight year stays, and I am so done with the last eight years of my life narrative. I can't even talk about it anymore. It's like a bad movie. I'm stepping out of it, letting go of the past and that story of myself. Yet in it I can also see cycles, useful short cycles of leaving and return, of learning. So I'm also taking every dreaded event and making a catalogue, in order to bury it in thankfulness. I'm grateful, I'm grateful for the learning brought on by these cycles. On these mounds of gratefulness I'm planting forgiveness. I'm taking the Hibiscus flower essence that I made in Kenya, trusting that everything is going in the right way.

The City Feels Close And The Wild So Suffocated

The city feels close and the wild so suffocated here, tamed by too much civilization. Switzerland, who is a Virgo (check out the country's natal chart), can overdo tidy, as Virgo's sometimes do. But when I came to the water's edge, I felt enormous recognition for being in such an ancient riverbed. The calm areas of crystal blue-grey led me to sound where the water breaks and rushes. She's been running this way for eons, and though the roads have grown up around her, her contours remain wild and deep. What a privilege to be in such an ancient riverbed. The internet tells me that the name of the river, the Arve, comes from Aturaua, meaning source or fountain, which in Basque took on the meaning of “destiny", or “magical wave". I like this idea, that this river I'll be walking by for the next few months will help me flow in the right direction, will help me find the next place I need to be, guiding my future with her icy depths sourced from high-up, glacial mountains. I'll trust her, letting go to receive, emptying out to be filled again. I'm glad for some quiet and emptiness. I think I'll go to river quite often.

Progress Used To Mean Journey

I hope this full moon has illuminated areas of your life that you can release, and that the land offers you deep moments of inner contemplation along with exterior symbols of your progress. Another important book I read last year, Songlines, by Bruce Chatwin, reminded me that progress used to mean “journey" in Old English (like in The Pilgrim's Progress I suppose) and that this is all we are really doing here: moving over the Earth towards truer versions of ourselves.

(Originally posted February 19, 2019)